The new trend in spas is “vinotherapy,” or wine-based treatments.
I’m not kidding.
We’re not talking Sideways or spas with endless cellars. We’re talking bathing in Pinot Noir while having a Merlot grape seed facial. Before you go to bed, you use a crushed cabernet scrub to exfoliate your body. Presumably the bath is watered down, or the new status symbol will be a literal port wine stain on one’s entire body.
It reminds me of the line from the movie The Truth about Cats and Dogs, where Janeane Garofalo tells a caller (whose cat has been licking the man's face for three hours), “It’s okay to love your pet. Just don’t loooooove your pet.” I mean, some of my best friends are wine aficionados. But isn’t this going a little overboard (or, more aptly, over the barrel?). At the very least, one would hope these places confiscate their guests’ car keys for the duration of their visit.
We all know that, in reasonable amounts, red wine is good for you. It’s not only the wine. The grape, grape skin, grape seed and grape vine all contain powerful antioxidants, according to this MSNBC article.
“Luxe resorts such as The Inn at Camelback in Arizona and the Shore Club in Miami are offering wine treatments using Olavie’s Le Vin range of oils made from Chardonnay grape seed. Across Europe, spas are using ISHI Elements — creams and oils from Chianti, Chardonnay and Pinot grapes sourced from organic vines in Tuscany. And New York City's first entirely wine therapy-based spa, Delluva Vinotherapy Day Spa, opened in Tribeca in January 2007, featuring TheraVINE products derived from the Pinotage grape in South Africa.”
The top 10 wine spas in the world span the globe, from South Africa to Argentina to, understandably, Bordeaux in France. The only American resort to win the accolade is the Kenwood Inn and Spa in Sonoma, California. If you’re going to go luxe enough to make a wine spa your destination, it only makes sense to make the destination an area of the world renowned for wine.
“To your health” has never been more apt. Hiccup.